Saturday, March 4, 2023

How Tyler, the Creator got me into college

When I was fifteen years old, I had an indescribable, all-consuming obsession with an up-and-coming rapper named Tyler, the Creator. I listened to every song, had notifications turned on for every one of his tweets, and watched every interview and vlog of his I could find. 

In October of that year, I waited in a six-hour line at the grand opening of his Odd Future store on Fairfax Avenue in Los Angeles, CA. When I finally reached the front of the line, I met Tyler. We took a picture, he told me I had pretty teeth, and I bought a photography book and tank top. For years, I never washed the shirt I was wearing while I met him. It was literally the best day of my life up until that point. 

This is the picture of Tyler & I (There was a no photo policy in the store but he made an exception for me, because I was practically hyperventilating, saying, "Someone take a picture of us before she passes out.") 

I saw a bunch of street banners advertising UCLA while waiting in line. I assumed the campus was close by, not knowing anything about LA's geography or traffic. That day changed the trajectory of my life and was the birth of my "dream school." My goal was clear: I would gain acceptance to UCLA, putting me in clear proximity to Tyler's store which would allow me to be around him often enough for us to fall in love and get married. 

The second part of the goal never came to fruition; I very rarely went back to his store. The first part of the goal, however, did come true on March 21, 2014. This became the new best day of my life. Little had I known, my unhealthy obsession with a rapper would lead to my acceptance to UCLA. 

Once I got to UCLA, I realized my journey there was unlike the rest of my peers. In the words of Claire Vaye Watkins, "All educations, [I] realized then, are not created equal." In The Ivy League was Another Planet, Vaye Watkins tells her college admission story. Growing up in rural Pahrump, Nevada, population 44,738, she explains, "By the time they're ready to apply to colleges, most kids from families like mine--poor, rural, no college grads in sight--know of and apply to only those few universities to which they've incidentally been exposed."

This blog by Professor Pruitt explores Vaye Watkins article in more detail.

Growing up in Merced, California, was similar in a lot of ways to Vaye Watkins in Pahrump but also very different. Merced is a mid-sized, agricultural city in the middle of the central valley, but it also the home of the University of California's newest campus, UC Merced and Merced Community College. Moreover, twenty minutes north is California State University (CSU), Stanislaus and fifty minutes south is CSU Fresno. It is a great privilege to grow up surrounded by so many options for higher education, one that many rural students don't enjoy.

For the most part, however, I learned of these schools because of proximity or incidental exposure, not because they put any effort into recruiting my classmates or me. Like Watkins' high school, the only recruiters that came to Merced High were military recruiters. And their efforts were rewarded. We loved the college-aged men coming to our school, getting us out of history class to go into the quad and engage in pushup and pull up challenges. They bragged to us about seeing the world, buying brand new Mustangs and Camaros, and making double the money for simply being married. Sarina Mugino discusses military recruitment, and military marriages, in more detail in this blog. At my high school graduation, a small group of us were going off to a university, but plenty of others stood to be honored for enlisting in the military. 

Ivy League schools were truly another planet. I couldn't even name any outside of Harvard and Yale. I often got Stanford confused with CSU Stanislaus. I knew absolutely nothing about the vast range of prestigious universities throughout the country.

I applied to eight schools because I qualified for a fee waiver that granted me four free CSU applications and four free UC applications. At seventeen, my choices were based on location. I knew practically nothing about any of the schools, but I knew UC Santa Barbara, UC San Diego, and San Diego State University were by the beach. I knew CSU Chico was known for parties. I knew UC Irvine, CSU Humboldt, and CSU Northridge were far enough away from my hometown that I could distance myself and begin healing from the difficult environment I grew up in. 

Outside of Tyler, the Creator, UCLA also had one thing no other school had. It had prestige. The day I proudly announced to my geometry class that I planned to go to UCLA I had no clue of its prestige or small acceptance rate. After my announcement, two of my classmates burst out laughing, telling me that "like 5% of people accepted there are Black" and I wouldn't qualify to join that small number. I will always remember my geometry teacher, Mr. Aguayo, for adamantly and immediately sticking up for me by saying his brother, "who was a lot less smart than me," graduated from there and Riki could, too. 

Unfortunately, Mr. Aguayo was an exception to the norm. It became a pattern for people to doubt my dream. Repeatedly, I was told I would not be admitted. These messages came from classmates, teachers, an assistant principal, and probably many more people behind my back. Eventually, I allowed the doubts to erode my enthusiasm until I stopped telling people my dream. In fact, by UCLA's decision day, I told all my classmates I wasn't going to check because I would never go to UCLA anyways. I will always regret waiting to read my acceptance until I was at home and all alone. I wish I had trusted myself more. 

In hindsight, the people who doubted me knew something I, very thankfully, had no clue of--the resources of the students I was up against. 

I took my SATs twice, with no studying beforehand. I had straight As, but from a low-funded, low-performing high school. Most shocking of it all, to me, is that little seventeen-year-old me submitted every part of my college applications through my iPhone because my family had no computer. I wrote my personal statement and scholarship essays in my notes app, copy and pasting straight from there to admissions portals. 

I've worked in college admissions since I was nineteen and I've seen over and over how unequal educations are. With my current company, students start their college preparation as early as middle school. They are assigned a tutor for every subject they can't get an A in. They begin our rigorous, years-long SAT/ACT prep. They are assigned a college counselor who studies their transcripts, extracurricular activities, interests, etc. and curates a perfect college list for them that ranges across the country. And, before the applications even open, essay coaches, like me, fine comb through every word on each and every one of their applications, using our CEO's essay writing formula, until each is polished to perfection.

I look back at my own college application efforts and I truly marvel that I ever stood a chance. 

In some ways, I think there is a privilege in growing up a world away from the Ivy Leagues. I still remember the unexplainable joy I got reading I was accepted into my first college, San Diego State. I ran to my mom's room and we both cried, repeating over and over, "we're going to college." She immediately asked me to send her a screenshot so she could brag on Facebook. For us, honestly, any college was a dream.

But I was lucky enough to grow up in California. Even my "safety" schools were great schools. There are many students for whom UCs and CSUs are on another planet, and many for whom even community college is in another universe. Watkins ends her article with a very powerful question, "...is it any wonder that students in Pahrump and throughout rural America are more likely to end up in Afghanistan than N.Y.U.?" From my experience, there is no wonder in this at all. 

This post, by Geovanna, goes into detail about other risks that hold rural students back from receiving college educations.

5 comments:

Christian Armstrong said...

The story you shared in this post about you and mother reading your first acceptance letter reminded me of my experience of getting into my first college. It was at Montana State University and I was in the car with the friend I was living with at the time and I burst into tears. There is something so rewarding, frightening, and essential to kids from rural areas getting into college. It's either a one or two-way ticket out of town for at least the next 2-4 years. And while it was exciting, it was terrifying because in rural areas you are conditioned to know that the unknown and unexpected can be terrifying. But like you, we both got out of it and are finding our way back.

Theo Brito said...

Thank you for sharing your story! I am sorry to hear that so many people doubted you along the way, but I am glad you can now revel in your success!! I hope that you are very proud of your amazing achievement.
It is interesting to read that many students will only ever apply to schools they have incidentally heard of. It is lovely to read that your attachment to UCLA came from your at-the-time favorite rapper. I remember when I was looking for colleges, I did not know the range of UC schools available I just knew I wanted to go to a California school.
Your story makes me wonder what it is like for students who only ever hear of college leagues from movies and aren't aware of the more accessible schools. On top of all the difficulties already inherent in trying to get into college, it must also be devastating to think that dreams of going to college are unattainable because you are only aware of a very limited scope of schools.

Sarina Mugino said...

Thank you so much for sharing! Like Christian, your story also reminded me of my college journey. However, for me, it wasn't the state schools that offered free applications, but rather the Christian universities. The first college I was accepted to was Taylor University, a private, interdenominational, evangelical Christian university in Upland, Indiana with an enrollment of under 1,800. However, my mom and I were thrilled to open that acceptance letter. Even though this school did not align with my views, mandated mass, and was really not that good of a school, I immediately paid my deposit, ecstatic that college was something I could achieve. My mom never graduated high school, so this was a dream come true.

After realizing that I wouldn't be able to afford 4 years of college, I then went to my community college. I remember paying my tuition in cash, after working 60-hour weeks between 4 jobs that summer. After my associate's, I went to an art school with a 96% acceptance rate and a 46% graduation rate. Even though the odds of me getting denied were lower than my odds of me getting accepted at Harvard, I was still absolutely thrilled to know I could finally go to a four-year university.

Looking back at what I've done, and my career plan for the future, I often wonder whether it would have been easier to marry or enlist. The article I wrote (thank you for referencing it) about women not pursuing grad school because of military enlistment was a very real reality for me. And here I am now, 2/3 of a law degree later, planning on joining the military anyway.

However, through all of this, I wish I would've had even an ounce of faith that you had in yourself. I'm so glad you were able to dream big and accomplish what you have. You're so deserving of all of it (and more!).

Katarina Mitrovic said...

Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life and your educational journey with us! I am so sorry that there was not enough support for you during your college application period, and that people were doubtful of your future success. Knowing you now, it seems insane to me that anyone would doubt your academic or intellectual ability. Similarly to you, I applied to the universities which I had either free applications to, or automatic acceptances to. In Hawai’i if you complete an AA at a CC you automatically get accepted into UH, so that’s where I went!

As a side rant – Ivy Leagues are wildly overrated. It seems like every day we learn more and more about how they’ve rigged the system so that only the wealthiest of applicants gets accepted, with a few token scholarship students. This Guardian article discusses a lot of the ways that money, like you discussed, affects acceptance into these prestigious schools: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/mar/12/us-college-admissions-scandal-corruption-rigged?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Ryan Chen said...

Love your post! It is crazy how geography plays into ideas of prestige for colleges and universities. My mom told me that in her area of Stanislaus County, UC Davis was THE school to go to. Everyone wanted to get in, and if you got in, there was a general consensus that you were successful and "made it out." This sharply contrasts my high school experience where Stanford was the "it school" and UC Berkeley was the back-up. But as someone who attended UCLA, I can confidently say that the education there is pretty much the same (if not worse) than smaller, less prestigious schools! This is another reason the obsession with prestige in this country is so stupid. We don't need to put super prestigious schools everywhere because strong regional schools can transform a community for the better.

P.S. Your story is eerily similar to that of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. Is this a coincidence or should we put together a lawsuit?